GEORGIA ON MY MIND

HAPPY SUNDAY, Y'all!

I admit, I have not been watching much football this season. Typically, I catch most of the games, but for whatever reason, it just hasn't happened. I've only seen a few games here and there. But I feel like today TOTALLY made up for it. I watched the Atlanta Falcons game and witnessed them not only score a WIN, but a ticket to the Super Bowl!! And I could not be more excited for my old hometown.

As most of you know, I lived in Atlanta for 11 years prior to moving to New York City. I have lived in a lot of places in my short thirty-four years, but nothing felt more like home than Georgia. I owe a lot of who I am to the years spent there. I became an adult. I fell in love, real love, for the first time and also experienced heartbreak. I had a successful career which taught me that I was capable of much more than I ever thought possible. And now, has lead me to starting my own business. I found life long friendships with some of my closest girlfriends, in which I credit Atlanta for having us cross paths. Friendships that have endured the highs and lows of life, marriages, babies and moving out of state. I also, welcomed my thirties with a new lease on life after throwing out my life timeline in effort to live more in the moment. But what I most cherish from my time living in Atlanta, is meeting my best friend, Will. We have been friends for over twelve years now and currently live together in the city. So, I guess I kinda get to have a piece of ATL with me everyday in NYC.

Atlanta was 'home' in so many ways and although I love living in New York City, there are things that I miss about the South. Football Sunday's, Sweetwater beer, Waffle House after a night out, sweet tea and southern hospitality. I have no doubt that one day I will move back for good, but until then, Georgia is always on my mind.

XO, Rae

33 LIFE LESSONS I'VE LEARNED SO FAR IN MY THIRTIES

Before I turned 30, I was a mess in my emotions. But what I didn't realize at the time, was that my thirties would be some of the best years of my life, full of possibilities. As they say the older you get the wiser you become. So, here are some lessons learned so far. 

1. Stop living life based on a timeline. Just live.

2. Travel often. Don't let money hold you back. 

3. Quit the job you hate. There are far better opportunities, if you go after them. 

4. Don't settle. Not for anyone or anything. 

5. Buy the more expensive bottle of wine. Your body will thank you the next day. 

6. While your annoyed at being Single. Your married friends envy your freedom. 

7. Stop trying to please everyone. Seriously, it's impossible. 

8. Send 'Thank You' notes. Handwritten notes never go out of style. 

9. Love the body you have. Stop nagging yourself over those 10lbs. 

10. Start a daily skincare routine. Botox doesn't last forever.  

11. Get more sleep. Pulling all nighters gives you dark circles & puffy eyes. 

12. Remove toxic people from your life.

13. Disconnect from everything every once in awhile. (phone included)

14. Learn how to cook & host a holiday dinner. 

15. Say 'I love you' more. Tomorrow is not promised. 

16. You don't have to have it all figured it out yet. 

17. Create goals for yourself. Even small ones sometimes make the biggest impact.

18. Surround yourself with people who truly get you, encourage you and support you. 

19. Things will fall apart at times. The key is for you not to fall apart. 

20. Don't let your past define who you are.

21. Invest in your future. Enroll in a 401K or savings plan. 

22. Never apologize for wanting the best for yourself. 

23. Life should be lived with no regrets.

24. You will experience loss and it may  change you forever.

25. Don't carry the burden for others.

26. Money does not define happiness. 

27. Failures are not mistakes, only lessons learned.

28. Stop comparing yourself to others. We all have strengths and weaknesses.

29. You are capable of so much more than you think.

30. Being successful is not defined by just your job.

31. Move to a new city if your bored in the current one you live in.

32. Chase your dreams, even if they scare the hell out of you.

33. Do what makes YOU happy. 

XO, Rae

Passionate Women & The Life They Lead

I love sharing articles that I find and hopefully you enjoy reading them. I recently came across this article on thebolde.com titled '13 Things Passionate Women Do Differently & Why They Stand Out From The Crowd.' I found this to be an interesting read and a few of the characteristics stood out for me personally.



#2 She smiles a lot- I will never forget the time I was called out at a staff meeting for being "the girl who is always smiling". I was new to my job and the CEO of the company decided to call me out in front of everyone. I mean at least it was a compliment but, I'm sure I got a few eye rolls from people. I would say that I definitely try to be the cheerleader for others. Especially in my experience as a manager, I try to be the energetic positive person. Smiling is contagious, after all. 


#7 She loves harder- I think I have always had this trait even as a young child. When I love, I give my everything. Maybe this is why I experience dissapointment on a deeper level. I believe there is nothing more powerful than loving someone whether it be in a relationship, with family or friends.


#11 She's constantly changing- Change within yourself is necessary. I think in order to grow you have to be open to change. And I have definitely embraced change more now than ever in my thirties. Although change is scary, so is regret.


So go ahead, stand out and LIVE PASSIONATELY.



XO, Rae 

Never Too Late to Choose a New Career

I came across an article on Facebook today shared by the page of What Not to Wear and had to share!

The article was published by MyDomaine.

         



I can completely relate to this article. At the age of 32, I am now seeking a new career after being in the medical field for most of my adult life. I loved being in medical and managing but I  have always felt like there is more out there for me. Being creative in any sense is where my passion lies. Creating my blog has helped me to get that creativity back in my life. I love event planning and have a new passion for designing handbags. Who doesn't love a good handbag?! Ambitious, I know. Life is short and I want to be able to wake up every day and truly be excited about what I do. It shouldn't feel like work so much as it should feel like fulfilling your dreams. I had no idea that these very successful women started their careers later in life. It's inspiring to say the least. If you are also contemplating a new career, I encourage you to read this article. Your thirties are just the beginning.



XO, Rae 

Topics Women Hide From

As women there are subjects that we tend to avoid being honest about. And sometimes try to avoid all together. Maybe it's for fear of being judged or looked at differently. I think it's often not until someone else is honest about their feelings that we then can admit we feel the same way. Why are we so afraid of being honest with our selves and even more so with each other?

Getting pregnant is one of life's little miracles. Many women base their whole entire life on when they will become a mother. And when it does, they are overwhelmed with joy. Well maybe not for some women. Some women although very much wanting to carry a child do not feel it is the best experience. Not all women actually like being pregnant. Yes, there I said it. I have not been pregnant myself but I have watched several friends go through two completely different experiences when it comes to pregnancy. And it's difficult to see the friends who did not have the greatest experience being pregnant feel shameful for feeling that way. Why can't a woman say that she dreads the part of gaining weight, feels like her body is disowning her, never had anything close to a "glow", admits to drinking more than the recommended coffee amounts, desperately wants to drink a glass of wine and has no urge to breastfeed period. Why is it so frowned upon for a women to speak her truth? You don't hear women who have great pregnancies shy away from telling everyone....and I mean everyone! But the moment a pregnant women even starts to say something that sounds like a negative remark about pregnancy, you can just see the looks of other women judging her. 

Getting married is something you dream about ever since you were a little girl. You grow up playing house and even marry off your Barbie and Ken dolls. Then as you get older, you date different guys and endure one too many heartbreaks. You see relationships for what they sometimes really are. Temporary spaces in your life that you can't control. You begin to realize that maybe marriage is not what you want or believe in anymore. But your afraid to even say it out loud much less tell your closest friends and definetly not your mother. After all they are all married or engaged and would probably tell you that your just going through a phase. Or tell you that you've just dated the wrong guys and not to worry your future husband is out there somewhere. But you know deep down if marriage wasn't in the cards for you, you would probably be just fine. But again we feel this guilt for being brutally honest. And for fear of downplaying our friends marriages and relationships, we simply agree that it's just a phase and your probably just being a little bitter. 

Hold your head high and never let them see you sweat. We are trained since an early age to have our life plan mapped out. College, career, marriage and kids. But what about plan B?  Or even better yet, plan C? Did anyone ever tell you what happens when plan A doesn't fall into place? I didn't think so. So why is that? It's almost as if plan A doesn't go accordingly, than somehow we must have failed in our life. And even worse we would have to admit that we failed if we tried to discuss it with someone else. Not everyone fits into plan A and that's okay. Life is often better lived off script. So what, you didn't go to college or even finish. And maybe your in your thirties just now figuring out what you want to do for your career. And maybe being single is your plan for now so you can travel first before getting married and having kids. What's so wrong with that plan? Your life doesn't have to be like everyone else's or even in the same order. But we fear to admit to each other that we like our plan better and that life sometimes tastes better against the grain. 

You should never apologize for how you feel, who you are as a person or where you stand on certain topics. So often we seek approval from others. But being honest in how you feel may likely make others feel relieved. We also seek other women who are just like us. It's much more comforting and inspiring when you have those who are closest to you share in your same feelings. So next time your faced with these topics, be true to YOU. Make no excuses and remember, you may not be alone. 

XO, Rae

Status: SINGLE

I can admit, I am still a little damaged from my last serious relationship. I don't feel pity for myself. I just know now exactly what I want and what I don't want out of my next relationship. Just because someone wants to be with you doesn't mean you have to be with them. Your not doing yourself a favor by trying to fill the void in your life. I used to look at failed relationships as a bad thing. I am a product of divorce. I typically have trust issues with men. And I haven't always picked the greatest ones to be with. I now see it as a chance to grow and learn from. I'm not perfect. I've definitely had my faults in past relationships. But all of that has helped to mold me into the person I am today. And because of lessons learned, I am more sure of what I want for myself in the future.

Being single isn't always easy or ideal. Although it is sometimes welcomed. I think being single is often looked at as a negative status. Honestly, I think more women should embrace it. But it's a choice I make. I am willing to stay single for as long as needed. God willing, that won't be forever! I'm not getting any younger. Ha! Now that I am in my thirties, it's more important for me to stay true to myself. I'm not looking for a perfect guy. I just know there are some traits I am not willing to settle for. I have goals, hopes and dreams and I want someone who I can share those with. So ladies, don't be afraid to wait for the love you deserve. 

XO, Rae

10 Things You Learn In Your 30's

I have learned to fully embrace my Thirties and I have to say so far, they have not disappointed. But of course with age comes wisdom. With the help of some friends, I have compiled a list of '10 Things You Learn In Your 30's.'

1.  Embrace who YOU are. 

 By 30 you start to really get to know who you are as a person and what you want out of life. You become an adult so to speak. Your getting your career on point, your paying bills like a boss and dating like a grown woman. Don't be fearful of who you may become. Be open to the possibilities.

2.  Your Mom is always right. -credit: Kristi Evans

 It's bound to happen. You will begin to hear yourself channeling your mother and saying to yourself "She was right!"  I even find that I often apologize to my Mom for thinking that she has no idea what I am going through....what I now realize is that she has already been there and done it. Hence why Mom's give the best advice!

3. You are not missing out on anything. -credit: Billy Berces

 Remember when you got invited to go out with your friends and you were so afraid of missing out you would never say 'NO'. Well those days are over. You just worked a 40+ hour week, your tired, you have nothing to wear and all you really want to do is go home and watch 'The Real Housewives'. Plus you can live vicariously via Facebook and save yourself the hangover. You will thank yourself in the morning!

4. Family is not always blood. -credit: Marisa Liona

 I agree 100% with this! Family does not have to be true to definition. Being family means more than just sharing a last name or a bloodline of relatives. It's about being there for someone and making an effort to be a part of their life. You don't get to pick your family but you do get to pick your friends. If your lucky, some of those friends will become family. 

5.  It's okay to make mistakes. -credit: Billy Berces

 Although you are well into adulthood now. You are still allowed to make mistakes. You don't have to have it all figured out in a perfect pinterest board. Be open to the idea that things will fall apart at times. But more often than not you will find yourself able to pick the pieces quicker. 

6. Sometimes you become the parent for your parents. -credit: Jackie Alfaro

 At some point you will find yourself in a moment of being the parent to your parent(s). Whether it's in giving advice or in caring for them as they get older. Both are more of a reality at this age. You will begin to start to worry about them more often, be ultra protective and have to deal with the fact that they are getting older and will need you more than ever. 

7.  A few good friends are all you really need. 

 At this age it is all about quality NOT quantity. Life is busy and when you do have down time, you want to invest in those who make it worth while. This isn't high school anymore and you don't need to be in a clique. You need real girlfriends that you can laugh with, confide in and drink bottles of wine with no judgment. 

8.  Date yourself.
   
 Ladies, LISTEN UP! You can't expect for someone to love you if you don't love yourself. And sometimes the best way to do that is to date yourself. Meaning put yourself on "a break" and get to know who you are deep down. The only way you are going to know what you want out of a relationship is to know what you have to have offer as well. Try it. I promise you will be a better girlfriend and one day wife for it!

9.  Sex is better in your thirties.  -credit: Jennifer Sears

 Okay so now that you have dated your self and have sworn off men for awhile. Nothing will get you back in the saddle more than having some good sex! It's true, sex is better in your thirties. Maybe its because of all the bad sex you had in your twenties or because your more experienced now? Whatever it is, be thankful! 

10. Your life is NOT over at 30! 

 Contrary to what you may think, turning 30 is not as awful as it may seem. It is possible that your thirties will be some of the best years of your life. Enjoy it because 40 is around the corner. Kidding! 



  XO, Rae



Have some more to add? Comment below. 

The Friends We Keep

Once you are in your thirties you realize that a few true friends are better than the twenty you used to have. I think it's important that women have a close group of girlfriends.I have an amazing group of girlfriends! Most of my girlfriends, I met when I was in my twenties. Your twenties are usually your unstable years. When you're partying, making up, breaking up and trying to figure out your life. If your friends can see you at this stage of your life and still stick around after, they are keepers! 

All of my girlfriends have this in common, they are loyal and have a genuine interest in my life. I feel that is a must when it comes to friendship. Often we surround ourselves with friends who are too caught up in their own life to take notice of ours. Friendship should be 50/50. It takes work just like any relationship. But in the end you want to feel they are just as invested in your life as you are in theirs. As women, I think it's important to have a well rounded group of girlfriends. I mean if all of your friends were alike, that would be pretty boring right?

One of my girlfriends is a few years younger than me. We are complete opposites in most aspects. She is bold, has never met a stranger and loves the outdoors. I'm more shy and quiet at first and not very outdoorsy unless it involves drinking on a patio. But we get each other on a level of passion for life. We both have recently moved to new states in efforts to chase our dreams. It's nice to share those experiences with a friend who understands it first hand. 

One my girlfriends that I have known the longest, I met at my first medical office job. She is soft spoken, smart, a great mother and can fix almost anything. Seriously, she can put most men to shame. She has taught me a lot about medical and we both connected over our passion for working in the medical field. We have leaned on each other through heartbreaks and been there to help pick up the pieces afterward. She has been my wing woman at the bars when we were both single and on the prowl. We have had some great times and share stories only we can tell. 

Another one of my girlfriends is my ride or die friend. Every girl needs one. That friend that never judges you or your mistakes. She is kind, funny, outspoken and doesn't let many people into her life easily. I consider myself lucky to be called her friend. She helped me to work through my past relationship with my ex and has always been a great sounding board. She is always honest when giving advice and that is what I love most about her. We have seen each other go through some difficult times in our lives. And we have celebrated many of life's happy moments like her newly born daughter. She is so worthy of becoming a mother. She reminds me that life is full of unknowns but you still have to ride it out. 

My best friend I saved for last. She is the most selfless person I have ever met. She is thoughtful, funny, kindhearted and will surprise you with her karaoke skills to 80's and 90's music. She will sing Salt -N- Pepa's "PUSH IT" like nobody's business. We could do nothing but sit in her living room and drink wine all night and be perfectly content. She and I like to do simple things like go to festivals, eat cheap mexican food, drink margaritas and craft things. Although she is now a busy Mom, she always makes time for our friendship. We just get each other and never have to apologize for what we say or think. She is like a sister to me. Friends who become family are the best types of friends. I can see us both sitting on a porch well into our 50's sipping wine. 

Life is too short not to be surrounded by great friends. I cannot imagine my life without my girlfriends. I am nothing without them by my side. 

XO, Rae