BLANK PAGE: A LIFE UPDATE

We're adults, when did that happen? And how do we make it stop? These words immediately resonated with me as I heard them out loud during an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I was having a crappy day and was in my feelings so, I ordered Chinese food, dug deep into the blankets on my bed and binged watched a season on Netflix. And at that moment hearing those words, I burst into tears. Life has recently reminded me that it owes you nothing and that change is inevitable. 


I know now more than ever that life happens regardless if you're ready for it or not. This year has been full of change both personally and professionally. My family dynamic has changed with the divorce of my parents. Although probably best for both parties involved, it still comes with pain and loss. And one thing I was not prepared for, is how it has changed the relationship I have with my mother. She is someone I have always been extremely close with. But I'm learning that parents have their life to live just as we have our own. And even though I wish things could go back to the way they were, this is now our new normal. I also, recently parted ways with my half-sister. This is something that has built up for years but still hurts nonetheless. I understand now that with loss comes growth. I have always been a "fixer" in my relationships with others. And this year has taught me that there are some things that can't be fixed. I've learned to accept things for what they are. And in the process, I am also learning to stop carrying the guilt. Being an adult comes with responsibility, but it also comes with the freedom of doing what is best for YOU.


My professional life has taken on a whole new meaning. As I once used to pride myself on a title I held in the corporate world, I am now learning the meaning of being an entrepreneur. I never realized how much I depended on a job status until I stripped it away. But in the past year of reinventing myself, I realized that I didn't need to have a "title" or "status" in order to be happy. My only regret is that I wish I had realized this sooner. But Life is funny that way, in that it gives you what you need when you least expect it. 


So, let this be a reminder that life comes with many unexpected changes. But you always have the option to rewrite your story and start on a blank page. Even when life feels like too much, just know that you will get through it. Although, I never would have imagined all the change this year would bring, I am reminded that I have much to look forward to. I am in the process of starting a business and launching my own Lifestyle Brand, later this FALL! And I could not be more excited. I also, will be embarking on year #3 of living in New York City, this October. I am choosing happiness even in the middle of life's chaos. 



Follow me over on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/ReinventingRaeNYC/



XO, Rae

33 LIFE LESSONS I'VE LEARNED SO FAR IN MY THIRTIES

Before I turned 30, I was a mess in my emotions. But what I didn't realize at the time, was that my thirties would be some of the best years of my life, full of possibilities. As they say the older you get the wiser you become. So, here are some lessons learned so far. 

1. Stop living life based on a timeline. Just live.

2. Travel often. Don't let money hold you back. 

3. Quit the job you hate. There are far better opportunities, if you go after them. 

4. Don't settle. Not for anyone or anything. 

5. Buy the more expensive bottle of wine. Your body will thank you the next day. 

6. While your annoyed at being Single. Your married friends envy your freedom. 

7. Stop trying to please everyone. Seriously, it's impossible. 

8. Send 'Thank You' notes. Handwritten notes never go out of style. 

9. Love the body you have. Stop nagging yourself over those 10lbs. 

10. Start a daily skincare routine. Botox doesn't last forever.  

11. Get more sleep. Pulling all nighters gives you dark circles & puffy eyes. 

12. Remove toxic people from your life.

13. Disconnect from everything every once in awhile. (phone included)

14. Learn how to cook & host a holiday dinner. 

15. Say 'I love you' more. Tomorrow is not promised. 

16. You don't have to have it all figured it out yet. 

17. Create goals for yourself. Even small ones sometimes make the biggest impact.

18. Surround yourself with people who truly get you, encourage you and support you. 

19. Things will fall apart at times. The key is for you not to fall apart. 

20. Don't let your past define who you are.

21. Invest in your future. Enroll in a 401K or savings plan. 

22. Never apologize for wanting the best for yourself. 

23. Life should be lived with no regrets.

24. You will experience loss and it may  change you forever.

25. Don't carry the burden for others.

26. Money does not define happiness. 

27. Failures are not mistakes, only lessons learned.

28. Stop comparing yourself to others. We all have strengths and weaknesses.

29. You are capable of so much more than you think.

30. Being successful is not defined by just your job.

31. Move to a new city if your bored in the current one you live in.

32. Chase your dreams, even if they scare the hell out of you.

33. Do what makes YOU happy. 

XO, Rae

HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF CHAOS

SORRY for the lack of blog posts lately. I have been so distracted by things going on in my life. But sometimes taking a step back is a good thing and even necessary. So, when life throws you lemons, add vodka and pour yourself a cocktail. Then get back to what makes you happy.


I am back in New York City after being away for six long weeks. My trip had started off great with a girls trip to Nashville for a friend's Bachelorette Party. Then was followed by the reality of my Mom and Step-Dad starting the divorce process. All while helping my Mom move out and into her new place. It was all very surreal. And honestly, I am still just dealing with it one day at a time. Even if you see it coming, you can still never really be prepared for it. I was too young to remember my Mom and Father divorcing. I was only two years old. But now seeing my Mom and Step-Dad go through it as I am now an adult, its tough. And I am learning how to adjust to having a relationship with them separately instead of as a unit. 

After a month of an emotional roller coaster, I spent a week back home in Atlanta. It was filled with lots of friend therapy, wine (of course) and a beautiful wedding of one of my best friends. I even hiked a mountain one day. The things friends get me to do. Ha! But hiking Sawnee Mountain was probably one of the best days and the views don't disappoint. The only disappointing factor of my trip was seeing my ex. You know how you think 'hey, what the hell?' meeting for a drink can't hurt, right? Wrong! It was dreadful. And he didn't even offer to pay for my glass of wine. But if anything, seeing him was a reminder of how far I've come since we dated. I wish him all the best in his life. I'm just so glad that I moved on with mine. 

I'm also currently job searching which is stressful in itself. My work from home job has ended, so I am looking into other opportunities. Working from home definitely has it's benefits, especially on days you just don't feel like doing your hair or putting on makeup. Also, being able to wear yoga pants while working is like the holy grail. But working from home can also be lonely some days. Since leaving the corporate world almost a year ago, I feel more grounded. I don't want to settle for just any job and the break has been much needed time to renew myself. But like all good things in life, they must come to an end at some point. I am lucky to live the life I live and keep reminding myself that with life's chaos often comes great change. 

XO, Rae 

Sawnee Mountain

Kaitlyn's Wedding 4.09.16

The Bride & I

My Girls! Linds, Me & Jen

HOW TO EMBRACE A BIG LIFE CHANGE

When you're about to embark on a big life change it's important to consider a few things.

BE OPEN TO THE JOURNEY.

I'm a planner, naturally. I always have a 'To Do' list for everyday tasks, I plan my outfits ahead of time and when I travel it's even worse. I am always thinking about the next thing that I need to plan for whether personal or business related. However, when your facing a big life change, your plan may not go as perfectly as you hoped for. But that's okay. Sometimes the best moments in life are the unexpected ones. You have to be open to the ups and the downs that you may be up against. And just trust that in the end, it will all work out how it's supposed to.

NOT EVERYONE WILL SUPPORT YOUR DECISION.

When I decided to move to New York, I got lucky. All of my friends and family couldn't have been more supportive. But that isn't always the case for some. It's easier for people to tear you down than it is to build you up. Not everyone will see your vision and encourage you to chase your dreams. Be prepared to move forward with or without some of your friends and family's support. Don't let others influence you or make you feel less than excited about your decision. After all, it is YOUR life. 

CHANGE IS SCARY. BUT SO IS REGRET.

Easier said than done, I know. Change used to literally give me anxiety. I grew up with a lot of change in my childhood so as an adult it became harder for me to accept change. The key is embracing it, not hiding from it. And if all else fails, at least you can say you took the leap of faith and tried. In life, you have to take chances to see the reward. If you can one day look back on your life and say that you have no regrets, imagine how fulfilling that will be. Nothing worth having comes easy. 

DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

We often make decisions based on a mixture of emotions. Sometimes a combination of our own wants and needs as well as other's. It isn't always easy to make yourself a priority. However, when making a big change in your life, you have to do it for yourself above anything else. It's never selfish to want to follow your dreams or to take steps to having a more fulfilled life. Your happiness is the ultimate goal. 


So, no matter what big life change you may be considering or beginning to embark upon. Remember to be open to the possibilities, take the good with the bad, have no regrets and do what makes YOU happy. 



XO, Rae 

10 Things You Learn In Your 30's

I have learned to fully embrace my Thirties and I have to say so far, they have not disappointed. But of course with age comes wisdom. With the help of some friends, I have compiled a list of '10 Things You Learn In Your 30's.'

1.  Embrace who YOU are. 

 By 30 you start to really get to know who you are as a person and what you want out of life. You become an adult so to speak. Your getting your career on point, your paying bills like a boss and dating like a grown woman. Don't be fearful of who you may become. Be open to the possibilities.

2.  Your Mom is always right. -credit: Kristi Evans

 It's bound to happen. You will begin to hear yourself channeling your mother and saying to yourself "She was right!"  I even find that I often apologize to my Mom for thinking that she has no idea what I am going through....what I now realize is that she has already been there and done it. Hence why Mom's give the best advice!

3. You are not missing out on anything. -credit: Billy Berces

 Remember when you got invited to go out with your friends and you were so afraid of missing out you would never say 'NO'. Well those days are over. You just worked a 40+ hour week, your tired, you have nothing to wear and all you really want to do is go home and watch 'The Real Housewives'. Plus you can live vicariously via Facebook and save yourself the hangover. You will thank yourself in the morning!

4. Family is not always blood. -credit: Marisa Liona

 I agree 100% with this! Family does not have to be true to definition. Being family means more than just sharing a last name or a bloodline of relatives. It's about being there for someone and making an effort to be a part of their life. You don't get to pick your family but you do get to pick your friends. If your lucky, some of those friends will become family. 

5.  It's okay to make mistakes. -credit: Billy Berces

 Although you are well into adulthood now. You are still allowed to make mistakes. You don't have to have it all figured out in a perfect pinterest board. Be open to the idea that things will fall apart at times. But more often than not you will find yourself able to pick the pieces quicker. 

6. Sometimes you become the parent for your parents. -credit: Jackie Alfaro

 At some point you will find yourself in a moment of being the parent to your parent(s). Whether it's in giving advice or in caring for them as they get older. Both are more of a reality at this age. You will begin to start to worry about them more often, be ultra protective and have to deal with the fact that they are getting older and will need you more than ever. 

7.  A few good friends are all you really need. 

 At this age it is all about quality NOT quantity. Life is busy and when you do have down time, you want to invest in those who make it worth while. This isn't high school anymore and you don't need to be in a clique. You need real girlfriends that you can laugh with, confide in and drink bottles of wine with no judgment. 

8.  Date yourself.
   
 Ladies, LISTEN UP! You can't expect for someone to love you if you don't love yourself. And sometimes the best way to do that is to date yourself. Meaning put yourself on "a break" and get to know who you are deep down. The only way you are going to know what you want out of a relationship is to know what you have to have offer as well. Try it. I promise you will be a better girlfriend and one day wife for it!

9.  Sex is better in your thirties.  -credit: Jennifer Sears

 Okay so now that you have dated your self and have sworn off men for awhile. Nothing will get you back in the saddle more than having some good sex! It's true, sex is better in your thirties. Maybe its because of all the bad sex you had in your twenties or because your more experienced now? Whatever it is, be thankful! 

10. Your life is NOT over at 30! 

 Contrary to what you may think, turning 30 is not as awful as it may seem. It is possible that your thirties will be some of the best years of your life. Enjoy it because 40 is around the corner. Kidding! 



  XO, Rae



Have some more to add? Comment below.