NEW YEAR, SAME DREAMS

Happy New Year, y'all! I'm excited to get back to blogging and share even more content with you in 2017! Not gonna lie though, I'm kinda sad the holidays are over. I love how the city transforms into this magical place during the month of December. But I guess all good things must come to an end sooner or later. And maybe that's a good thing, considering all the indulging that I've done the past few weeks with holiday treats and cocktails. Thank GOD, for yoga pants!


A New Year is kinda like having a fresh start. Whatever held you back last year or didn't bring you joy, you can leave it all behind in 2016. And that is exactly what I plan on doing. Since leaving my 9-5 corporate job in the Summer of 2015, I have been in this awkward transition phase. I worked from home for awhile and have since been putting ideas together of starting my own business. My dream is to create a Lifestyle Brand that reflects me and has something for everyone's budget. And it has proven to be harder than I ever imagined. Not that I thought it would be easy, don't get me wrong. But having BIG DREAMS also means BIG CHALLENGES. So, here I am, back to the drawing board and pushing myself to do EVERYTHING I can to get this business off the ground this year. 


I was recently explaining to a friend, over brunch, how you loose some of your confidence when you haven't worked in awhile. I have always been driven in my professional life. And I always succeeded in any position I held. But when you strip everything away and get back to the basics, it's easy to forget what you are actually capable of. You constantly fight off doubt and start to question yourself. 


I also, allowed my personal life to overshadow my dreams and goals last year. My parents divorced and the aftermath was more that I could handle at times. I spent months just feeling like my whole world was coming apart and I didn't know how to fix it. And it caused me to be distracted and unfocused on my life. 

For me, 2017 is going to be a year of CONQUER. I want to conquer the FEAR, DOUBT, COMPARISON and DISTRACTIONS. And I want this year to be the year I let go of anything that doesn't serve a purpose in my life. It is possible to live your best self, you just have to want it bad enough.


How will you make 2017, your best year yet?!


XO, Rae

BLANK PAGE: A LIFE UPDATE

We're adults, when did that happen? And how do we make it stop? These words immediately resonated with me as I heard them out loud during an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I was having a crappy day and was in my feelings so, I ordered Chinese food, dug deep into the blankets on my bed and binged watched a season on Netflix. And at that moment hearing those words, I burst into tears. Life has recently reminded me that it owes you nothing and that change is inevitable. 


I know now more than ever that life happens regardless if you're ready for it or not. This year has been full of change both personally and professionally. My family dynamic has changed with the divorce of my parents. Although probably best for both parties involved, it still comes with pain and loss. And one thing I was not prepared for, is how it has changed the relationship I have with my mother. She is someone I have always been extremely close with. But I'm learning that parents have their life to live just as we have our own. And even though I wish things could go back to the way they were, this is now our new normal. I also, recently parted ways with my half-sister. This is something that has built up for years but still hurts nonetheless. I understand now that with loss comes growth. I have always been a "fixer" in my relationships with others. And this year has taught me that there are some things that can't be fixed. I've learned to accept things for what they are. And in the process, I am also learning to stop carrying the guilt. Being an adult comes with responsibility, but it also comes with the freedom of doing what is best for YOU.


My professional life has taken on a whole new meaning. As I once used to pride myself on a title I held in the corporate world, I am now learning the meaning of being an entrepreneur. I never realized how much I depended on a job status until I stripped it away. But in the past year of reinventing myself, I realized that I didn't need to have a "title" or "status" in order to be happy. My only regret is that I wish I had realized this sooner. But Life is funny that way, in that it gives you what you need when you least expect it. 


So, let this be a reminder that life comes with many unexpected changes. But you always have the option to rewrite your story and start on a blank page. Even when life feels like too much, just know that you will get through it. Although, I never would have imagined all the change this year would bring, I am reminded that I have much to look forward to. I am in the process of starting a business and launching my own Lifestyle Brand, later this FALL! And I could not be more excited. I also, will be embarking on year #3 of living in New York City, this October. I am choosing happiness even in the middle of life's chaos. 



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XO, Rae

YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

Lately, when talking to friends the same words seem to pop up in conversation, 'never say never'. I was reminded of these words again as I scrolled through Facebook this morning & looked back at an old status I wrote in 2010. 



I had no intentions on ever moving to New York City. I was perfectly content with my life in Atlanta. It was only tempting to move because my best friend had literally just moved from Atlanta to New York & I felt lonely. But I knew my life was in Atlanta and I had worked so hard to build that life. My career was just starting to come together & I was surrounded by the people I adored most. 

Fast forward almost 5 years later and life changed drastically. I started to be more open to the possibilities of leaving it all behind to pursue bigger things. Literally over a year's time I would contemplate the move to NYC. I was in a different head space than previously and I was ready to see what more was out there for me. So, I took a leap of faith and made the decision to move to NYC in the fall of 2014. The moment I actually committed to the idea, it seemed like everything fell into place. I didn't have any hesitations from that point on. Everyone was extremely supportive of my decision and not one person tried to convince me otherwise. So, I took all the encouragement and promised myself I would make the most of this new chapter. 

I didn't have a job lined up when I moved to New York. My plan was to take some time to get moved and adjusted to the city. I got anxious to get out there so 3 weeks after, I landed a position with one of the top medical practices. I was ecstatic to say the least. From my first interview, I knew this was the job for me. Immediately, I felt like I was taking NYC head on. But 6 months in, I couldn't do it anymore. I loved the job but the work environment was not ideal. It was not an easy decision for me but after a lot of consideration and countless nights crying over bad days at work, I made the decision to resign. The day I gave notice, I felt like I could breathe again. I didn't feel stressed or bad for what I had just done. I felt like it was what I had to do. I had never quit a job like that ever in my life. I've always held long term jobs ever since I was 15 years old. So, this was new territory for me. I didn't really have a plan B. And I was okay with that, for once. Which if you know me, I never not have things planned out. I'm a planner by default. But I knew I wasn't happy. I also remembered that I promised myself to live a different life here in New York by any means necessary. And I wasn't willing to compromise my happiness after leaving everything behind in Atlanta.

I wrote this Facebook status a year ago today (the day before my last day at my job):

A year later, I haven't looked back since. I took a chance on myself. And honestly I've never been happier. The past year has allowed me to get back to what's important in life. It has made me realize how unhappy I was all those years living at my job that I had always put above everything else. It has given me the opportunity to strip down to what I really want in life and what I never want to settle for. I've been blessed enough to be able to work from home, travel, write my blog and just enjoy living in this amazing city. 

My dream is to be an entrepreneur. And I'm hoping to make that happen sooner than later. I often let fear get in the way, but then I am reminded of how far I've come and all the things I've done that I never thought where even possibilities. So, I'm saying, never say never. Don't hold yourself back from things you want or deserve in your life. Everything happens for a reason. I honestly believe that. Be open to the possibilities of changing your mind. Trust the process and know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be. 

XO, Rae

Your Job Shouldn't Define Who You Are

Lately, I dread the question "what do you do?"  It's often the first thing asked when meeting new people. It's only natural to ask someone in effort to get to know them, but it often comes with a reaction based on the answer given. I have never had hesitation in answering to others what my career is until now. I have always had a job and position in which I was excited to share and tell about. But now that I am not working, this question has made me almost cringe when asked. I have yet to quite figure out how to answer this question. 

Not because I am embarrassed but because I want people to know more about me and not just how I pay my bills. It's not like I want to just say well, I quit my high paying job to stay home, write about my life and sketch handbags. Doesn't sound so appealing, right? And honestly most people may not understand it. Especially new people that come into my life. I'm pretty sure my parents and friends are still trying to wrap their minds around it. I feel like no matter how I answer the question, it sounds the same. And my career prior to now almost feels discredited because new people in my life don't know my prior accomplishments.

Let's be honest, when you find out someone isn't working, usually the reaction is negative or envious. You might even make a comment like "oh, must be nice." I'm sure I have been guilty of this myself. Regardless of the reason why, not having a defined job can have a negative connotation. Often we judge others based on what they do for a living. Especially living in New York, career is everything. You walk among movers and shakers on the streets everyday. Most people move here only to take their career to the next level. Don't get me wrong. I have zero regrets about quitting my job. Your job should be what you do, not who you are. For once in my life, I'm not known as "girl who works to much". My job was my life. I barely allowed for anything else to take place because I was always putting work first. And most of the time I wasn't happy.

There is more to me than what I do what for a living. I am a creative, ambitious, loyal to a fault girl who will always want the most out of life. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared of failure but I want to know that I at least tried. I am constantly evolving and growing into the person I want to become. Who I am today is not who I was ten years ago or even 10 months ago for that matter. I hope to add 'Successful Entrepreneur' to my next resume!



XO, Rae

Topics Women Hide From

As women there are subjects that we tend to avoid being honest about. And sometimes try to avoid all together. Maybe it's for fear of being judged or looked at differently. I think it's often not until someone else is honest about their feelings that we then can admit we feel the same way. Why are we so afraid of being honest with our selves and even more so with each other?

Getting pregnant is one of life's little miracles. Many women base their whole entire life on when they will become a mother. And when it does, they are overwhelmed with joy. Well maybe not for some women. Some women although very much wanting to carry a child do not feel it is the best experience. Not all women actually like being pregnant. Yes, there I said it. I have not been pregnant myself but I have watched several friends go through two completely different experiences when it comes to pregnancy. And it's difficult to see the friends who did not have the greatest experience being pregnant feel shameful for feeling that way. Why can't a woman say that she dreads the part of gaining weight, feels like her body is disowning her, never had anything close to a "glow", admits to drinking more than the recommended coffee amounts, desperately wants to drink a glass of wine and has no urge to breastfeed period. Why is it so frowned upon for a women to speak her truth? You don't hear women who have great pregnancies shy away from telling everyone....and I mean everyone! But the moment a pregnant women even starts to say something that sounds like a negative remark about pregnancy, you can just see the looks of other women judging her. 

Getting married is something you dream about ever since you were a little girl. You grow up playing house and even marry off your Barbie and Ken dolls. Then as you get older, you date different guys and endure one too many heartbreaks. You see relationships for what they sometimes really are. Temporary spaces in your life that you can't control. You begin to realize that maybe marriage is not what you want or believe in anymore. But your afraid to even say it out loud much less tell your closest friends and definetly not your mother. After all they are all married or engaged and would probably tell you that your just going through a phase. Or tell you that you've just dated the wrong guys and not to worry your future husband is out there somewhere. But you know deep down if marriage wasn't in the cards for you, you would probably be just fine. But again we feel this guilt for being brutally honest. And for fear of downplaying our friends marriages and relationships, we simply agree that it's just a phase and your probably just being a little bitter. 

Hold your head high and never let them see you sweat. We are trained since an early age to have our life plan mapped out. College, career, marriage and kids. But what about plan B?  Or even better yet, plan C? Did anyone ever tell you what happens when plan A doesn't fall into place? I didn't think so. So why is that? It's almost as if plan A doesn't go accordingly, than somehow we must have failed in our life. And even worse we would have to admit that we failed if we tried to discuss it with someone else. Not everyone fits into plan A and that's okay. Life is often better lived off script. So what, you didn't go to college or even finish. And maybe your in your thirties just now figuring out what you want to do for your career. And maybe being single is your plan for now so you can travel first before getting married and having kids. What's so wrong with that plan? Your life doesn't have to be like everyone else's or even in the same order. But we fear to admit to each other that we like our plan better and that life sometimes tastes better against the grain. 

You should never apologize for how you feel, who you are as a person or where you stand on certain topics. So often we seek approval from others. But being honest in how you feel may likely make others feel relieved. We also seek other women who are just like us. It's much more comforting and inspiring when you have those who are closest to you share in your same feelings. So next time your faced with these topics, be true to YOU. Make no excuses and remember, you may not be alone. 

XO, Rae

Chasing Dreams

Let's back up to about 8 months ago...

When I left Atlanta and moved to NY....I had just resigned from my job of 8 1/2 years.  I worked in medical as a manager for a large private practice. This was my career. I had worked hard over the years and loved what I did. I like making a difference and being there for people. 

I've always thought being a manager can have its challenges but it also has its rewards. There are days you question everything and days you feel like you've conquered it all. 

I took a chance moving here without a job. I wanted to move first, get adjusted to the City and then seek out a job. I saved up money so I knew I would be okay for awhile until I found something. After 3 weeks of living here, I was getting restless staying at home and was eager to get back to work. But of course I had fears. What if I couldn't land a job in NY? What if I wasn't good enough for the same type position?  What if? 

These doubts were running thru my mind but I knew I had to put myself out there first to see what I was up against.

To my surprise, once I started putting my resume out there, I got some very encouraging feedback. Within a 2 week period I was hired and starting my new job right before thanksgiving. The company was similar to the one I had worked for in Atlanta. The position was a step up from my previous job and was going to be more challenging. This excited me! I was ready for something new. I was ecstatic to have landed such a huge position with this company. I didn't think I would be so lucky so soon. After all, I moved to New York for bigger & better. (So cliche, I know) but it was true. 

I've been with the company for a little over 6 months now. I feel like I've given it my best. I recently resigned. Although I love the company, I've come to find that it's just not the right fit for me. For those who know me, knows this decision does not come easy. I have never quit a job like this. I pride myself on my work. Hell work consumes my life most of the time. I'm working on this! 

But what I have come to realize, is happiness out weighs everything else in life. As I finish up my last week of work, I am unsure of my next move for the first time in my life. And I'm strangely calm about the situation. I feel that I have learned a lot about myself these past few months since moving to New York. I'm not afraid of change anymore. I've already been pushed outside my comfort level and have done great so far. I have dreams of finishing a book I'm writing, continuing this blog and one day designing my own handbags. And who knows what else will come my way! 

As they say in life, sometimes you have to close one door before another one opens. I'm hoping this is true. I feel inspired again to create the life I want. 

No one ever said chasing dreams would be easy but they did promise it would be worth it! 

XO, Rae