BLANK PAGE: A LIFE UPDATE

We're adults, when did that happen? And how do we make it stop? These words immediately resonated with me as I heard them out loud during an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I was having a crappy day and was in my feelings so, I ordered Chinese food, dug deep into the blankets on my bed and binged watched a season on Netflix. And at that moment hearing those words, I burst into tears. Life has recently reminded me that it owes you nothing and that change is inevitable. 


I know now more than ever that life happens regardless if you're ready for it or not. This year has been full of change both personally and professionally. My family dynamic has changed with the divorce of my parents. Although probably best for both parties involved, it still comes with pain and loss. And one thing I was not prepared for, is how it has changed the relationship I have with my mother. She is someone I have always been extremely close with. But I'm learning that parents have their life to live just as we have our own. And even though I wish things could go back to the way they were, this is now our new normal. I also, recently parted ways with my half-sister. This is something that has built up for years but still hurts nonetheless. I understand now that with loss comes growth. I have always been a "fixer" in my relationships with others. And this year has taught me that there are some things that can't be fixed. I've learned to accept things for what they are. And in the process, I am also learning to stop carrying the guilt. Being an adult comes with responsibility, but it also comes with the freedom of doing what is best for YOU.


My professional life has taken on a whole new meaning. As I once used to pride myself on a title I held in the corporate world, I am now learning the meaning of being an entrepreneur. I never realized how much I depended on a job status until I stripped it away. But in the past year of reinventing myself, I realized that I didn't need to have a "title" or "status" in order to be happy. My only regret is that I wish I had realized this sooner. But Life is funny that way, in that it gives you what you need when you least expect it. 


So, let this be a reminder that life comes with many unexpected changes. But you always have the option to rewrite your story and start on a blank page. Even when life feels like too much, just know that you will get through it. Although, I never would have imagined all the change this year would bring, I am reminded that I have much to look forward to. I am in the process of starting a business and launching my own Lifestyle Brand, later this FALL! And I could not be more excited. I also, will be embarking on year #3 of living in New York City, this October. I am choosing happiness even in the middle of life's chaos. 



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XO, Rae

HOW TO EMBRACE A BIG LIFE CHANGE

When you're about to embark on a big life change it's important to consider a few things.

BE OPEN TO THE JOURNEY.

I'm a planner, naturally. I always have a 'To Do' list for everyday tasks, I plan my outfits ahead of time and when I travel it's even worse. I am always thinking about the next thing that I need to plan for whether personal or business related. However, when your facing a big life change, your plan may not go as perfectly as you hoped for. But that's okay. Sometimes the best moments in life are the unexpected ones. You have to be open to the ups and the downs that you may be up against. And just trust that in the end, it will all work out how it's supposed to.

NOT EVERYONE WILL SUPPORT YOUR DECISION.

When I decided to move to New York, I got lucky. All of my friends and family couldn't have been more supportive. But that isn't always the case for some. It's easier for people to tear you down than it is to build you up. Not everyone will see your vision and encourage you to chase your dreams. Be prepared to move forward with or without some of your friends and family's support. Don't let others influence you or make you feel less than excited about your decision. After all, it is YOUR life. 

CHANGE IS SCARY. BUT SO IS REGRET.

Easier said than done, I know. Change used to literally give me anxiety. I grew up with a lot of change in my childhood so as an adult it became harder for me to accept change. The key is embracing it, not hiding from it. And if all else fails, at least you can say you took the leap of faith and tried. In life, you have to take chances to see the reward. If you can one day look back on your life and say that you have no regrets, imagine how fulfilling that will be. Nothing worth having comes easy. 

DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

We often make decisions based on a mixture of emotions. Sometimes a combination of our own wants and needs as well as other's. It isn't always easy to make yourself a priority. However, when making a big change in your life, you have to do it for yourself above anything else. It's never selfish to want to follow your dreams or to take steps to having a more fulfilled life. Your happiness is the ultimate goal. 


So, no matter what big life change you may be considering or beginning to embark upon. Remember to be open to the possibilities, take the good with the bad, have no regrets and do what makes YOU happy. 



XO, Rae 

Personal Growth

Living in New York has made me realize a few things about myself. I am way more comfortable outside of my comfort zone than I have ever been before. New York exposes you to so much more in every day life. You are constantly surrounded by people. It's true, your personal space is completely invaded most of the time. From crowded streets, subway stations and even grocery stores.  But the great thing is that you have a lot more chances in meeting some amazing people. Everyday is like a new experience filled with new opportunities.

I have also learned to embrace change head on. Change used to be something that made me feel anxious and I often avoided it. I had a lot of change in my childhood and I think that made me fearful of change in my adult life. (I'll go into more of that later) I have settled into the City and adapted to my new life pretty well in the past 8 months. Moving in general can be overwhelming but moving to New York adds a whole new level. Smaller space, roommates, no car, public transportation, longer work hours....the list goes on! All of which now seem "normal" to me. I love living here in the City and for once I welcome the change that comes with it.

Fear of failure is also something I am learning to let go of. I no longer want to say "What If?" I want to live the life I imagine for myself and put my fears aside. It can be scary to chase dreams but having regrets are scarier. I would rather say that I tried and failed than have never tried at all. I'm learning that the journey is more important than the end result. I've created this Blog to document my journey in NYC and in hopes that women can relate to the honesty of embracing your thirties. In addition I am writing a book based on relationships, friendships and lessons learned. My goal is to one day publish my book. 

I guess you can say New York has changed me. Or maybe it's that I've allowed myself to be more open to this experience. Either way, I'm grateful for the growth.


XO, Rae

Moving to New York....

Moving to New York has been by far the best decision I have ever made. Well...I say that now, maybe I should wait til I have lived here for at least a year, lol. Moving here was not always part of my plan but life changes sometimes and here I am.
Up until 7 months ago, I was living in Atlanta, Ga..I had a great job, amazing friends and a nice apartment right outside of the city. So what changed?! Well...I changed. Two and half years ago, before turning 30, I began to see my life differently unlike before. I was a few years out of a long term relationship that was on again off again for longer than I like to admit to.


When I was with my ex, I was so sure of my life, my career and wanting to be married and have kids. I had always thought that I would be married and have kids before 30. I think most women feel the pressure of this for all sorts of reasons. But turning 30 was a game changer for me. I stopped worrying about where I was in life and started to focus on where I was going in life. For me, I was so worried about trying to have this list of accomplishments by the time I turned 30 and then realized that my life was just starting. I let go of my preconceived ideas and I let myself be. I actually came to New York to visit my best friend Will (who I live with now) and celebrate my 30th Birthday.


I had no idea then that almost 2 years later I would be moving here to NY. Will had been trying to get me to move to NY for a few years. I would nicely say to him "maybe" but really knowing in the back of my mind that I had no intentions of moving. (He knew that as well but he still tried to convince me). At that time I was still content with my life in Atlanta and was ready to see what 30 had to offer. I would visit NY a few more times after my 30th Birthday, falling more in love with NY each time. And then upon another big change in my life, I soon realized that maybe New York wasn't a bad idea after all.


My Grandfather passed last year May 24th, 2014. A day that I will never forget. He was an amazing man. He traveled the world, had a very successful career and made a name for himself. He was known by a rare nickname and was the life of the party. Shortly before his passing, I had told him about the possibility of me moving to NY. He was surprisingly very excited for me. He traveled to NY often throughout his life and had nothing but great things to say and stories to tell about his trips here. I was still unsure myself if I would actually go through with it but when he passed, I knew I had to do it. Not just for him, but for me. His passing changed my life in more ways than one. But mostly he had always instilled in me to never have regrets in life. He lived life so passionately and I wanted to do the same. So fast forward to October 2014, I packed up an SUV with my Mom and my best friend Will along side me and I moved to New York. It was 19 hours traveled up the east coast and at 3am October 10th, 2014, I officially became a New Yorker.